Fear and the Bogey Man

Remember as a kid your mother saying to you “better be home before dark or the Bogey Man will get you?” Your parents, God love them, trying to keep you safe by projecting their own fears onto you, so you will think twice before even considering something not so safe. How unsafe are they really? What are we really teaching our kids?

Think about your state as that young child. The blank canvas, free of fears, negative experiences, trauma. Still so open to the world, everything bright, vibrant and intensely alive.

Within each child the questioning space of pure experiencing, an ever unfolding of the present moment with very little to no consideration of the future. All that matters is the state the child is in NOW. Think back to how your mother would scold you for coming in late, “where have you been?” Mum I was so engrossed with the present moment I didn’t even think about the time. Completely engrossed with the present moment is where small children reside, innocent, free and grounded with intelligence that we as adults completely fail to acknowledge. Totally ignorant of the lesson being played out right in front of our eyes.

That lesson could literally save lives if only we had the power to turn back the clock and relearn a lesson that our own children could teach us naturally. There is only ever the present moment.

Tragic is the rate of depression, anxiety and suicide in modern western society. Tragic because it is totally unnecessary. That rate of depression and anxiety is so prevalent because we still believe in the bogey man that our parents taught us to fear. The only difference between the adult and the child fearing the bogey man is that the child thinks the bogey man is external because his mother told him so, and the adult feels the bogey man is internal.

In 2015 I was lucky enough to spend some time in India looking further into my own questions through study and experience in one of the birthplaces of modern psychology. In India they refer to anxiety as the “fear of the fear”, but where does this fear originate? I don’t recall having this fear as a small child. I don’t see it in the small children I encounter now. However I see and feel a prickly under current of fear in every adult I interact with. Further to that on the TV, in the newspaper, social media and government advertising, every single place you can think to look that involves adults, it will be impossible to miss. Fear and the fear of it.

So who is the bogey man? The bogey man my friend is your fear of the fear that is not real. Go back to the child space when you are in this fear and try and find the threat that exists here right now. It’s not here now but it could happen and if this or that happens then something bad could happen right? Who told you that? Forget the present moment for a second and go all the way back and find this moment of bogey man original sin. “Oh my God it’s my parents!” Bingo!

Before you waste time sending me a personal message about how you had the best or worst parents in history, don’t lose the point of this article. The point is the bogey man is a product of someone else’s influence, it is not original to you.

If you have young kids go and watch them right now and think about how you often wish you were them, free of all this burden you bring upon yourself because you still believe in the bogey man. Who perpetuated this bogey man view of the world besides your parents? School, teachers, tutors, peers, friends who got the same lesson from their parents that you did from yours, and then out into the world after school you go to meet countless others who got the same bogey man lessons you did.

Marketing companies are advertising to your inner bogey man and so is the government. “Big pharma” is one of the biggest users of your inner bogey man that you will ever come across. We buy up that fear and try hopelessly to sure up a position that was meant to be transient and beautiful, and no matter how hard you try, or how much money you spend, will always be transient. Why? Because that is the rule of life, and the tragedy is that we lose the beauty of this transience that comes to us right now through this moment.

Bogey man fear is the single greatest lie in human history. All of us running around like headless chickens trying to amass as much wealth as possible, to try and stave off the bogey man through man’s fear of the fear.

We lost the gift we came in with, our God given ability to be present in this moment and trust in it. The bogey man sold us on the idea that we need to be something and have a destination, what destination, death?

How many people have suicided because they believe they have failed to reach the destination of success? How many have suicided because they believed they were not enough in this world? What is death other than the flip slide of life? Death is part of life. The bogey man sold us on the idea that death is somehow unnatural, but they have a different view in the east that makes a whole lot more sense than what we were sold, but that’s another article.

Depression and anxiety are products of the bogey man. What do the majority of children under five know that we don’t? Feel into it, think back, how was it?

Yes it was pure experience. Pure present moment, the reason we are here. To experience this world the way it unfolds in this moment, regardless of the outcome.

So much suffering at the hands of a future we have far less control over than we think, and while we fixate on the fear of the future we are missing the gold. We are missing the bliss, we are missing the colour and the vibrancy of the five year old that still exists in each and every one of us. We trudge through a flat, grey sameness that is totally self-perpetuated.

We have to start living beyond the illusions of our belief system that is slowly strangling the life out of us. This behaviour and belief system is not our definition either, we are far more than that. Your kids again are showing you the way.

In the kindest possible way tell your parents and all of society to shove that bogey man where the sun doesn’t shine, and start to live authentically from the same place the children are. That way this misinterpretation and illusion of life will finally come to an end.

“Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?” ~ Jesus Christ.


Grant Giles created Sports Supports after 30 years as both an athlete and coach, and 10 years studying ego psychology. Grant understands first hand what it takes to succeed in sport, regardless of which sport this is, and what level you are competing at. Not only does Grant understand the ego at an athletic level, Grant has also suffered from anxiety and depression throughout his life, having experienced first hand the debilitating effects of the mind. Grant has an easy, caring nature that allows him to meet his clients in a way that creates an ease that allows him to facilitate personal growth whether that be on a sporting or personal level, or both.

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